Red Tape: Exchanging money, canceling phone service…simple, right?

On my last day in Guangzhou, I withdrew a bunch of money from HSBC and closed my account. I’ll use some of the cash to buy a new fork for my Moots frame. OK, now that I’ve been able to peg this post to cycling, I’m going to talk about something else: The rigid adherence to policies and procedures that few Chinese seem to understand.

My latest experience at HSBC is a classic example. I walked into the bank, sat down at a fancy desk and told the banker in a suit that I wanted to exchange all of my Chinese currency into U.S. dollars, withdrawal it and then close the account. He said that I wouldn’t be able to exchange the money unless I could prove that the Chinese currency was earned in China. He seemed very certain about this, and he added that I might have to use “alternative channels,” meaning underground banks or the black market exchange.

I asked him if I could go overseas and just start withdrawing all the money in foreign currency with my ATM card. He said that I would only be able to access money in my foreign currency account, not my Chinese yuan (or RMB) account. I also asked him if I could take out all the Chinese currency and exchange it in another country, like South Korea. He said I couldn’t.  Hmmm, this seemed fishy, but he sounded absolutely positive. But one thing I learned early on in China was that you ALWAYS should get a second opinion, then a third one and a fourth…

I called my wife, who was in South Korea, and asked her if she had any problems exchanging Chinese currency or accessing her Bank of China account with her ATM card. She said she had already done both things with no problems. I went back to the HSBC guy at the fancy desk and told him what my wife said. He called a colleague over and they had a long conversation in Cantonese, which they knew I couldn’t understand. He told me the ATM card might work in some places in Northeast Asia but it’s best not to rely on it. He still said I couldn’t exchange Chinese currency overseas.

I sought a third opinion and went to the teller window. I told the gal that I wanted to close my account and take out all the money in U.S. dollars. She said, “No problem!” The process took about 30 minutes as she filled out a bunch of forms by hand, but I walked out of the bank with about US$4,000. I was tempted to stroll by the fancy desk and fan the money in the guy’s face, but I decided not to push things.

This type of thing happens all the time in China. People don’t understand the  policies. Often, policies and procedures are so nonsensical and confusing that they defy understanding. But it’s amazing that at HSBC – one of the world’s biggest banks – a guy sitting at a desk can’t give you accurate information about something as simple as exchanging money and closing an account.

My next task was getting the phone service canceled at my flat. I thought this would be a snap, but it turned into a Kafkaesque nightmare! I went to the phone company, told them I was moving and asked if I owed them any money. They said my accounts were all clear, but I needed to return an Internet/TV box set that I never used. If I didn’t give it back, I’d owe them 800 yuan (more than US$100). I went home, found the equipment and returned it. That’s when the phone company guy told me that I couldn’t cancel the service because it was taken out under my wife’s name. They needed to see my wife’s passport before they could close the account. I explained that my wife left early with my kids and wouldn’t be returning to China for at least a year, maybe never. They asked if she could make a special trip back to the country to sort out the phone business or at least mail her passport to the phone company so that they could terminate the contract. “Not bloody likely,” I said.

We went back and forth for 10 minutes, with the phone company guy insisting that he needed to see my wife’s passport. I finally said that I was being a good guy by making sure I didn’t owe anything before I left. I could have just disappeared without paying my bill and returning my equipment. I told him that in my mind, we’re all squared away. Everything is cool. If the phone company wanted to make a simple matter ridiculously complex, that’s fine with me. I no longer have to live in this dysfunctional Chinese universe. Then I turned around and walked away.

The phone guy never would explain why it was so important to see my wife’s passport. But a taxi driver explained that the phone company probably suspected that I was fighting with my wife and I wanted to cancel her phone service to get back at her. So, so sad. There’s an easy fix for the whole matter. The phone company just needs to flag our account in the system. If it’s inactive for one or two months, then automatically cancel it. Simple.

Posted: June 21st, 2010 | Author: wafflesandsteel | Filed under: Uncategorized | 3 Comments »

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